Prison doesn't work... nor do holiday camps

HM Prison Birmingham, in Winson Green has launched a "decency agenda".

This means that prisoners should be called by their Christian names and warders should knock before they enter cells.

The "decency agenda" was prompted by an official Government study of the jail that concluded that the 1,400 inmates at Winson Green were not living in a "good environment".

A spokesman said, "First names of prisoners are now given on all cell cards. Members of the Senior Management Team address prisoners by their first names, preferred names or by using the term 'Mr'."

The scheme is a bid to treat prisoners with respect, she added.

This follows on from a report that warders are wearing carpet slippers to patrol prisons at night so as not to disturb prisoners' sleep with their big hobnailed boots.

Mr Mackay would be turning in his grave - and Genial Harry Grout would be having a field day at Winson Green - if he wasn't already too busy running Slade Prison. Even Mr Barraclough didn't go as far as calling Fletcher and Godber "Norman" and "Lennie".

Several years ago, I was in a pub quiz team and one week the captain, Reg, announced that he might be away for a few weeks as he was due up in court and could be sent down. "It'll be okay, though. I've done it before," he said.

I was amazed. The thought of going to prison scared the life out of me - nowadays, I am sure I would still not like it but it doesn't sound too bad. Three meals a day, pool tables, TV in my cell, library, computer games - it almost sounds okay to do bird.

Prison doesn't work bleat the liberal bleeding hearts. Well, when it sounds more like a holiday camp, of course it doesn't. When the Regs of this world are happy to get banged up.

Prison should be a deterrent and so unpleasant that no one would ever want to go back. That means it should be a punishment not an alternative holiday camp.

And while on the subject our useless Justice Minister Jack Straw has commented on a report that said non-violent offenders should be punished but not necessarily jailed... say their victims.
Research shows that 81 per cent of those affected by crimes such as burglary and vehicle theft would prefer "effective" sentences to harsh ones.

Straw said: "This research suggests when offenders receive vigorous effective community sentences - combining punishment and rehabilitation - it can go some way towards comforting victims."

What a load of cobblers. Who conducted this research?

A few years ago, then Lord Chief Justice Lord Woolf said that he didn't believe that most people wanted first time burglars jailed.

He is right.

Most people do not want first time, second time or any time burglars jailed. They would much rather see them hung by their testicles from the nearest lamppost.