Mind how you go....

Two forces show why policing in this country is in such a mess.

In a six-day period last month in Suffolk police caught more than 1,700 people speeding. Do you think that all those people were driving dangerously? Attempting to justify his force's behaviour, Sgt Steve Knight said, "Motorists really have no excuse. The campaign was well-publicised and there still seems to be a significant number of drivers who have failed to grasp the concept that speed kills."

Actually, speed doesn't kill. Inappropriate speed kills.

Again, Sgt Knight: "We are aware that there are those who say police should have better things to do, but this ignores the role speed plays in fatal and serious road traffic collisions."

Yes, it plays a role. A very small one. Even the Government's figures show that speed is responsible for 5 per cent of crashes.

How many people were mugged and how many houses burgled while the police crouched by the side of the road?

Meanwhile, a plumber with a heart condition spent 18 hours in a police cell and and had his DNA and fingerprints taken after being accused of dropping an apple core.

On 21 April 2008, the first day of Suffolk's motoring blitz, Mr Hirst said he was tapped on the shoulder by a plastic plod on the way to the chemist and accused of dropping the apple core, which he denied.

Mr Hirst, who no longer works because of his ill health, said: “He was an over-zealous young lad baying to give me a ticket.

“I told him I was on my way to the shops, but would be walking back that way if he wanted to speak to me later. He followed through the precinct to the chemist.

“When I came out there were five police officers surrounding me. I said I had done nothing wrong and so was not telling them who I was. The most senior police officer said they would have to take me into custody.”

Mr Hirst was arrested for refusing to pay a £50 on-the-spot fine and taken to Swinton police station before being eventually taken to the magistrates’ court in handcuffs.

While in custody Mr Hirst twice needed to be seen by a doctor as he complained of dizziness and chest pains.

Superintendent Ian Palmer of Greater Manchester Police said: "We work closely with the city council and other partners and take a firm stance against all environmental crime."

Ye gods! "Environmental crime"! Does Supt Palmer have any idea how ridiculous he sounds? It was an apple core. It is organic matter - it will decompose on its own unless it was eaten first by some local creature.

Sgt Knight and Supt Palmer will, no doubt, go far.